Old Warhorse Willie Rosas takes a break in between training sessions.

Pandemic conducting military exercises

Peru - Our operatives returned this week from South America with stunning evidence of secret military training exercises - exercises that were being conducted by the Pandemic Society! The exercises must be part of the Society's preparation for some major action in the upcoming year. "They're training with the most sophisticated weaponry alright," confirmed one senior intelligence official after reviewing the photographs, "We had been wondering how that stuff was making it out of the country. Now I think we know." As to the severity of the threat posed by the Society at this time, the official would only say this: "I only wish Saddam was the worst of our problems - but these guys - well, the whole country better watch out. It won't be pretty."

The exercises were conducted over a period of several weeks and are believed to have involved members of several associated organizations, including Activision, Inc. "I wouldn't put anything past them at this point," our intelligence source continued, "we've got troops around the globe on a high state of alert, but it's impossible to guess where they intend to strike."

Here at the Watch, all we can suggest is to remain vigilant. Lock your doors at night, and keep your personal firearms at the ready. We applaud the efforts of one group of 10th-graders in Davenport, Iowa who have set up a roof-top patrol at their school to watch for unusual or otherwise unmarked airplanes in their vicinity. Several families in Visalia, California are also taking action, pitching in together to build a concrete bunker in their adjoining back yards. "You just never know what's gonna happen," said one of the bunker builders, "but this Pandemic thing's got me all freaked out. Once I saw that crop circle picture, that was it. My neighbors Ed and Julio and I began work on this bunker you see here the very next morning."

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