Students write down each of Resnick's words as if it were gospel.

Pandemic twisting the minds of youth

Santa Monica, CA - It appears that the Pandemic Society's plan to infiltrate the minds of America's youth is right on track. Recently we witnessed an innocent group of students from the Calmont school being herded in through the doors of the Society compound in Santa Monica. There they were no doubt subjected to several hours of propaganda aimed at convincing them to join the ranks of "game developers" (and we all know what that means.) Our mole on the inside was able to sneak out several stunning photographs of this sinister indoctrination session (one of which is shown at left.) Apparently the young people never suspected anything, several of them even writing down the words spoken by such dangerous characters as Josh Resnick and Greg "The Buttercup" Borrud. (We've been desperately trying to get our hands on a transcript of the text of those scribblings, but so far no success.)

So what's next? "It's hard to say," one official told us privately, "but we fear it's possible that they already have operatives in every school in the country. It's this internet thing if you ask me. Children's minds are being controlled - I've seen my very own son sitting there in front of our computer at home downloading game demos. They look harmless enough, but what's behind the demos? What are they really 'demonstrating'? There's trouble ahead, believe me. We saw this kind of thing in Angola, and it can happen here, too!"

All we can say is that we'll keep watching and hope for the best. Stay tuned...

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