Josh Resnick: maniacal mastermind of the Pandemic build-up.

Pandemic Strangely Quiet

Santa Monica, CA - "The worst part is," begins Ewing McKenzie, President of P.A.C.T. (People Against Conspiratorial Terror), "our governments and regulatory agencies think that everything is fine! Well, I'll tell you, one guy to, well, to whomever we hear it - the fact that we haven't heard a peep out of the Pandemic Society in several months is the biggest news story, so far, of the new millenium. They're lulling us into a false sense of security. They want us to think that they no longer pose a threat. Well I'm here to tell you brother - I've been watching that compound, and I've seen dozens of new faces going in through that security gate, I've seen boxes of new computer equipment being hauled in, new phones. You guys all saw those recruiting notices they've had up everywhere. They're growing. They're expanding. And they're more dangerous now than ever before! And yet we hear nothing. No threats of new projects. No announcements of new plans for world domination. The silence is deafening!"

Fortunately, Mr. McKenzie actually isn't the only one raising the alarm. "We've heard rumors of several new secret projects," confided one top foreign military official. "We'll keep this whole thing under tight scrutiny. P.A.C.T., and other organizations like it, can rest assured that there's no cause to panic - yet. But the apparent buildup is cause for concern." When asked if he knew anything about the nature of these new 'secret projects', the official shook his head. "Very little that I can tell you at this time. Several projects seem to be going under code-word 'console', but I really can't say any more right now."

Here at the Watch, we can only make the gravest assumptions about the ramifications of such news. According to Mr. McKenzie, membership in the Pandemic Society may have doubled, and we can ourselves confirm that phone installation crews were seen entering the compound on three separate occasions just last week. All we can say at this time is: 1) continue to carefully review all reading material that comes into your home. 2) Don't rent any video tapes from sources unknown to you. 3) Take special note of any strange weather occurences in your neighborhood that coincide with the appearance of bikers, joggers, or motorcyclists, and most importantly, 4) Report any sightings of new Pandemic Society recruiting material immediately. We'll stay on the lookout for fresh information and report any news about Society's new 'secret projects' as soon as we get it.

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