Tough mid-westerner Averell Davis digs out.

Snow anomaly caused by Pandemic

Gary, ID - With all the snow that's fallen recently, it easily might have gone unnoticed. In Gary, Indiana, a single city block - in fact a single house, received 11 feet of white stuff. "It's quite a sight," commented one man who lives in the neighborhood, "I'm shoveling my driveway - Davis is shoveling his roof trying to get down to his house." We spoke with the owner of the house, Averell Davis, who said this was not entirely unexpected. "I knew they'd try to get at me somehow," he told us, "I've been tracking some of these Pandemic guys for several years now, and this is the way they try to get back at me. I've already had to move twice. My place down in Florida was blowed away in a hurricane, my house in Tulsa was carried off by a tornado, and now this. My wife took the kids back to her parents' place in Akron. I can't blame her too much. It's a tough life, but somebody's gotta save the planet."

Apparently Davis has been lobbying government agencies for several years trying to get them to publicly reveal what they know about the Pandemic Society. "You know they're hidin' stuff," he insists, "it only makes sense. Heck, they may all be in on it. I'm just tryin' to do my duty to my fellow man, that's all. That's all I'm doin'. And for those people down in Florida who didn't believe me and tried to run me off, well here's proof - I mean, if what happened in Oklahoma didn't convince you, this has to. Can you think of anybody what's lost three houses like this? I can't. I just hope the house is still under here. For all I know those little demons have found some way to disappear the whole damn thing, or maybe they'll save that trick for the next house."

Mr. Davis says his work will continue, although he admits if his roof has collapsed, getting another house may be a challenge. "I don't know how I'm going to explain this to the insurance guys. I better get somebody out here to have a look before all the snow melts." Mr. Davis, we wish you luck. With dedicated people like you relentlessly pursuing the truth, we will succeed in getting the word about the Pandemic out to every home in America.

back to main

Please Note: The theme and tone of this website were conceived solely for the purposes of entertainment - in other words, yes, all you nut-case-conspiracy-theory-extremists: IT'S A JOKE! Any similarity of mentioned people and events with actual people and events is unintentional. A trademark for the name 'Pandemic Studios' is pending. 'Battlezone' and 'Dark Reign' are trademarks of Activision, Inc.  And yes, we've got boatloads of mean lawyers - so don't mess with us. Copyright (c) Pandemic Studios, LLC. All rights reserved.