Then spy they called 'clowney' was discovered in this lonely dumpster. |
Ten Days and...Nothing?
Washington, D.C. - It's been ten days since we heard claims from several top intelligence sources that the Pandemic Society was about to make a major announcement - an announcement that would supposedly reveal
an alliance between Pandemic and "the most powerful force in the history of the our planet". We have finally cornered the Society's front man, Josh Resnick, and demanded that he tell us something. "Most powerful force?" he quipped, "I dunno. Love? Rock 'n' Roll?
Look, you guys have got to stop already with this countdown stuff. The fact is we are at work on several major new projects, there will be announcements made concerning each of them, and right now I can't say anything. That's it."
"I'll bet that's all he said," snorted one agent who's been tracking Resnick closely for the past few months. "It's all coming down - and soon. You'll see. We had it all put together, and then suddenly three days ago we found our main inside guy dead -
dressed in a clown suit and stuffed in a dumpster down by the beach with a bullet through his head. But just you wait. It's gonna be big when it all comes out."
Spokesperson Shauna Moeller also weighed in. "What can I say," she explained, "we jumped the gun. We were assured by the most reliable sources that there was a huge announcement coming, and then this. We just blew it. As for the stuff about guys in clown suits,
I really can't say that we know anything about that. We still have every reason, however, to expect a big announcement soon, although we're going to be a bit more careful for the future about trying to predict exactly when the news will come."
Here at the Watch, we'll keep our eyes open. The look in Josh Resnick's mischievous eyes suggested to us that he was hiding something (and probably a lot of things). As soon as we have new information, new theories, or even new rumors, we'll pass it all along.
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